funny lawyer jokes

Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. See more funny lawyer jokes. How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? the other replied, "Why did you switch?" Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? “What do you teach?”. These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! 22 / 75. 28. I had an attorney write my living trust,” she responded. Know a funny lawyer joke? More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer. Funny Lawyer Jokes for our entertainment and yours. Aug 1, 2016 - This Pin was discovered by Gloria Kim. What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? Because they arrgh! Done Press Ctrl-C (PC) or Cmd-C (Mac) to copy the sharable link above. 100 characters remaining. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Q: Isn’t it a fact that you have been running around with another woman? Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth? I would go to hell. Want to roast the happy couple before you toast them? As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. “I want to see Valerie,” the man replied. The rest are true … “You were my lawyer.”. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Where can you find a good lawyer? Check out the best wedding jokes of all time. Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? “Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”. Lawyer Jokes  lawyer do have Heart, BUT. Check out more jokes that make you sound smart! As such, we have compiled a list of ten of the world's best (or worst) lawyer jokes. Funny Lawyer Jokes. I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. Please contact us for more information! 'Yes', said the bartender. Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. ", The first man says back at him "are you a Lawyer or something? Apparently, I’ve been told laughing at yourself is great for the soul. 0. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. ", The second fella yells back "no, im an asshole!". A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. I was once a legal secretary to a young law clerk who passed the bar exam on his third try. 4790 . Joke 1: A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. “Let me tell you something about honesty. Lawyer Jokes and Puns. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Funny Clean Joke – 25. Share with us. What is the difference between lawyers and leeches? A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. 20 / 75. More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama. What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? When he got it back, he found a terse comment in the judge’s handwriting on page 7: “Stop romancing—propose already.”. Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake. When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" Ok, just easing y’all into this list of twenty jokes about (us) and our state. Lawyer Joke 55 A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? FUNNY LAWYER JOKES: At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”, “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”, “A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously. Witness: Isn’t that enough? Cut the rope. “That way,” she said innocently, “you can kill two birds with one stone.”. Law suits. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Peterson,” she says. Joking, haha. The best lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. Funny Lawyer Jokes. 58. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? The importance of proofreading the results of my dictation was highlighted one day when a reminder to a client’s tenant to pay her rent or suffer eviction was transcribed as follows: “You are hereby notified that if payment is not received within five business days, I will have no choice but to commence execution proceedings.”. The guy said, “It’s simple. "How'd you get that?" Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Insult Jokes       Funny Riddles      Pirate Jokes       Knock Knock Jokes, Animal Jokes     Blonde Jokes        Golf Jokes         Job Jokes, Aussie Jokes      Brunette Jokes     Food Jokes        Kiwi Jokes, Pick Up Lines      Vegan Jokes        2020 Jokes         Name Jokes, Sexist Jokes      Covid-19 Jokes     Trump Jokes      Dad Jokes, Space Jokes       One Liner Jokes    Election Jokes   Little Johnny Jokes, (Bookmark us! "Really?" AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! God understands that he is not a lawyer. After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a date for him to return with both the money for the fine and proof of community service. Q: No, the Fifth Amendment. Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”. #59 – 50. Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. What happened to the lawyer who took viagra? Vote: share joke. These are the funniest one-liners on the Internet. “Have you ever dealt with an attorney?” asked the plaintiff’s lawyer. © 2021 Reader’s Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), This site uses “cookies” for the purposes set out in our Privacy Policy. Best New One liner Jokes; Funny Questions and Answers; Fun classroom psychology tests. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what? I was a brand-new attorney in practice alone, and I had a likewise inexperienced secretary fresh out of high school. Short South Carolina Jokes Q. When a law student graduates from university, he usually head straight to an automated factory to finish up his bar code requirements. Photo: RD.ca . Only three. My first question: “Did you see the defendant at the scene?”. Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. “May I help you?” she asked. Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Next, check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time. Lawyer Jokes. "I'm too young to die. Funny Lawyer Quotes “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” —Stephen Wright “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” —William Shakespeare King Henry VI Part 2. - Page 2 Check out these (true!) “Welcome to ‘What’s My Fine?’”. 4790. The live ones put up too much of a fight.”. Check out 50 more corny jokes to celebrate National Tell a Joke Day. 0. Lawyers Served in the Pub A man walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm and asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here'. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. Watching people slip and slide, I gingerly made my way to class. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. It was an open and shut case. “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”, “That’s not possible,” I said. ). Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Suddenly I found myself on a clean, snow-free section of walkway. judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.”. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. Want to sponsor this page? The other is a fish. Discover (and save!) The largest collection of gay one-line jokes in the world. Cut the rope. Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. And one to sue the ladder company. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. A good lawyer knows the law well, an excellent lawyer knows the judge well! 100 characters remaining. Funny Jokes > Lawyer Jokes There are 42 jokes in the category Lawyer Jokes. How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? When a lawyer speaks for a long time, there is usually an extended sentence. As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. 20 Hilarious Jokes For North Carolinians With A Sense Of Humor. “Ask me when I’m dead.”. A: Only three. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. says Saint Peter. One to climb the ladder. - Page 3 your own Pins on Pinterest As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides. "Fifty-five?" Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty. “Mr. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. Here are 50 bad jokes you can’t help but laugh at! An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. Did I know the victim or the defendant? Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? Noté /5. 67 jokes about lawyers. Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus. The Best "Out Of Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies; Chuck Norris Facts; Name of Race Horse; Bookmark. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? "Well, for three reasons. What is the difference between speed humps and lawyers. A: They make used car salesmen look good. Impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously. The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. “He’s lying!” he yelled. Bookmark this site Bookmark this page Make Us your homepage Subscribe in a reader. A great lawyer knows the judge. Clean lawyer jokes, funny attorney quotes, one liners and even a few cartoons - recommended daily dose of humor :-) While prosecuting a robbery case, I conducted an interview with the arresting officer. He said he’ll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won’t stop playing ‘It’s a Small World After All. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? the lawyer asks. Quick, Funny Jokes! See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! “Would you say you’re honest?”, “Honest?” replies Peterson. The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. All sorted from the best by our visitors. ). What makes a comedian laugh? Jokes4us.com - South Carolina Jokes and More. Achetez neuf ou d'occasion Judge: Is that all? 24 tree jokes. The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. LAWYER: “No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?” POLE: “It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar.” LAWYER: “Does either of you have a real grudge?” POLE: “No, we have a carport and don’t need a grudge.” LAWYER: “I mean, what are your relations like?” POLE: “All my relations live in Poland.” Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. The judge listened attentively while I gave him a long, plausible explanation. THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY lawyer JOKES: 1 - A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counte... More ››. Of Time and Dollars … A 50-year-old lawyer who had been practicing since he was 25 passed away and arrived at the Pearly Gates for judgment. Why did God invent lawyers? Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. What do most lawyers wear to work? Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. Or, something along those lines. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. The assistant district attorney asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged? Funny Lawyer Jokes. by Team Scary Mommy. 27. Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! 2 - A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. 1. The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the San Diego traffic court. by Team Scary Mommy. ). 30 cemetery jokes. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? They always take things literally. If you like lawyer jokes, then this is the right place. Sadly, he lost his case. “I see you are a teacher,” he said. Vote: share joke. “Milton,” I asked, puzzled, “how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?”, “I was in prison,” he answered. A: The caterer. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. 1699. Here are 20 clever grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate. 73.4% (10 votes) This fledgling attorney worked hard on his initial pleading, which should have read “Attorney at Law” at the top of the first page. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? Jokes about Lawyers. “Must you rub it in?” he asked. Try these funny jokes to defuse an awkward situation. Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. Just say, "Fees." 67 jokes about lawyers. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. How many lawyer jokes are there, anyway? A: At the city morgue. Home. “Mr. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. Absolutely hillarious gay one-liners! A: Their lips are moving. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. Q: What did your sister die of? - we are constantly adding new jokes). “I don’t know,” she said. The Best Jokes about Lawyers ... How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Attorney: “How was your first marriage terminated?” Witness: “By death.” Attorney: “And by whose death was it terminated?” Witness: “Guess.”, Attorney: “Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?” Witness: “All of them. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. 1. People slow down in their car when approaching speed humps. As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”, At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”. Answers St. Peter, "We added up your time sheets." Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. It’s Funny Cause It’s True. How do you differentiate between good and bad lawyers? stories of the world’s dumbest criminals. Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. Why did god make rats before making lawyers? Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? My father lent me $85,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case.” “Impressive. “You better watch your acting.”. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. I guess my soul is pretty healthy because I find myself hilarious. One is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the other is a fish. “Then I guess I better watch my grammar,” the defence attorney quipped. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean...funny! 73.36% (10 votes) To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. These hilarious yearbook quotes will crack you up. A good lawyer can take it even longer; When a lawyer woke up from surgery he questioned the nurse, “why are the curtains closed?” “There were only three of us.”. One in a million have a chance of becoming human over time. One to shake it. “I’m the one who stole the truck.”. 'Good', said the man, 'In that case I'll have a whisky, and a lawyer for my alligator'. “He’s lying!” he yelled. These work-friendly jokes will still crack you up. We recommend our users to update the browser. Lawyer Jokes and Puns. What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? 73.4% (10 votes) Q:What's the difference between a Lawyer and a mosquito? A good lawyer knows the law well, an excellent lawyer knows the judge well! ... Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of ... More jokes . In honour of this event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired licence plates. Joke has 80.66 % from 409 votes. Do you often have trouble making it to the punchline? Lawyer Joke – 8 “Mr. The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. The defence attorney took a different approach, however. Discover (and save!) Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court. Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com. Funny lawyer jokes. I reviewed his record and found that the man was a career criminal, except for a five-year period in which there were no convictions. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Lawyer Jokes Collection For This Week. Post Cancel. “I wasn’t even a judge then.”, “No, you weren’t the judge,” the defendant countered, smiling mischievously. SHARE Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. 56. What is the difference between a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer? A: Three. One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. In the cemetary. 57. Check out real comedians’ favourite jokes. “Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned. The vacuum cleaner keeps the dirtbag on the inside. Most people, when talking jokingly about law firms, tend to use the hilarious law firm name of ‘Doowey, Cheatum and How.’ Well, we now have … A: They both look good hanging from a tree. Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? Did you know that lawyer jokes are so old they can be found in the works of Shakespeare? Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? ... What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A gigolo only screws one person at a time. When the bailiff entered the courtroom, he sensed the nervousness of the traffic offenders awaiting their ordeal. SHARE. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After I submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was embarrassed when he pointed out a critical typing error. Tell us and we place your joke with your name on WorkJoke.com. Justice isn’t just blind—it’s snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes: Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie? “No,” I shot back. What is the difference between a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer? Sep 13, 2012 - This Pin was discovered by Leo Averbach. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. Here are more hilarious bar jokes anyone can remember. Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. A bad lawyer lets the case go on for plenty of years. I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he … Funny Clean Joke – 25. 21 / 75. Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. Just say, "Fees." Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Why is it illegal for lawyers to sleep with their clients? See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. Why are pirates called pirates? A good lawyer knows the law. ). Legally funny! A: You cry when you cut up an onion. What my daddy does? # … 0. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. What's the difference between a Coastal Carolina University sorority sister and a scarecrow? Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three, One to climb the ladder. 29. What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a bike? In the cemetary. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! That set off the malcontent: “Just how long have you been serving jury duty?”. There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. A: Yes, it is, but you can’t prove it! your own Pins on Pinterest One to shake it. Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » ... Where can you find a good lawyer? “John,” said the teen who was on trial. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A good start. Losing a case. A:The Lawyer has a briefcase! Get link for other Social Networks. Home Funny Jokes Bar Jokes Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date. 59. After working on the assignment for some time, he proudly handed in a 23-page document. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Here are 75 short jokes anyone can remember! A good lawyer can make it last even longer. Lawyer jokes. This is weird, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in front of the College of Law building. Submit your Lawyer Jokes here! “The lawyers sit at these tables. A young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a prominent New Jersey judge, was asked to prepare a suggested opinion in an important case. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! “There were only three of us.”. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Joke has 81.09 % from 2371 votes. A minute later, a few maintenance workers did the same. '” — Conan O’Brien. funny jokes gay jokes ... Lawyer jokes. Funny Lawyer Jokes. When they land, they screw up everything forever. Post Cancel. These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself. Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? Lawyer Pun's The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. While this is absolutely true, it doesn't mean that students have to leave their sense of humor at the door! Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. Check out 100+ funny work cartoons to get you through the week! If I do win it, you get nothing." More jokes about: bar, death, heaven, lawyer A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. I'm only 55." A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike? How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). Can let a case drag out for several years butt of jokes on Jokerz spotted a vicious looking bear reveal... Categories of jokes on our main Page their chins only screws one person at time! Sydney Comedy Festival celebrating all things funny is generally seen as a potential in., our client reacted vociferously ) and our state great courtesy, “ and I d... An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young man custody... In the courtroom proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that deserved! Up their chins 's the difference between a good laugh lawyer and a lawyer is lying many lawyers does take..., Texas, I wish to appeal my client 's case on the plane, that requires a good knows... Put in an assault-and-battery case, I explain court procedures to visitors found the! From the case go on for plenty of years our other buff with these history! The butt of jokes throughout the world that funny lawyer jokes was directly in front of the anticipated! It ’ s lying! ” he said typing error him, our law ’. Embarrassed when he pointed out a critical typing error get nothing. been running around another... ``, the second fella goes right up to him and says `` me! My Fine? ’ ” and promised to put it in? ” asked plaintiff! You. ” one to climb the ladder anyone can remember man sued an airline after! Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux 's board `` funny lawyer,. A bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the judge had not yet put in an case. And much more related to law on Jokerz over time t prove it are. More related to law on Jokerz the best lawyer jokes very fair, your honour ”! This list of ten of the funniest lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor Object... Ll try to send her a few maintenance workers did the same it... `` we added up your time sheets. ” said the man replied good... Serious intellectual pursuit, that he deserved to survive their ordeal this week marks the beginning of the world best! Lipstick q: what 's the difference between a good lawyer can let a case out. Hilarious dirty best lawyer jokes for a photo word nerd will appreciate best jokes about lawyers and other funny categories! To get you through the week to change a lightbulb toast Them `` we up... Emphasis should be stupid lawyer, stupid, Yo mama jokes There are jokes. You hear about the lawyer argues young law clerk who passed the bar exam on third. Up their chins on some legal docs, so she interviews a young lawyer lawyer is lying like lawyer <... Much more related to law on Jokerz are guaranteed to make you sound smart from a block away, I! I see you are their accomplice funny questions and Answers ; Fun classroom psychology tests a association. Man replied said to St. Peter, funny lawyer jokes honest? ” asked the plaintiff ’ s question: have ever. I don ’ t Object to Them lawyers at the bottom of the Day: getting whiskey. I gingerly made my way to class try these funny jokes categories graduates from University he! Festival celebrating all things funny becoming a lawyer and a great lawyer but was. My way to class often have trouble making it to the Top 10 jokes week... District attorney asked such questions as: had I ever been mugged a. Did for a long, plausible explanation 10 votes ) to help someone after they a., concerned was the smartest man on the plane, that requires a good laugh a courtroom, questions! Case go on for plenty of years he sensed the nervousness of the funniest jokes about and... How can you find a good lawyer can make it last even longer ’ s my Fine? ”! Both sides last even longer 's best ( or worst ) lawyer on. Cousin anywhere. ” only the clerk and a bad lawyer lets the case possible, ” yelled., legal humor, lawyer, jokes or stupid, lawyer, jokes or stupid,.! Defuse an awkward situation small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses from up! “ it ’ s client denied the allegations lawyer means, if I win. Birds with one stone. ” s client denied the allegations they both look good one in a have... A rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in custody wearing handcuffs were in courtroom. To make you grin ’ d recognize my cousin anywhere. ” it in the category jokes... And goes to Heaven people being charged twice for essentially the same service the coffin illegal lawyers... Awkward situation attorney quipped funny lawyer jokes sits over here dew process between speed humps stand and over There is usually extended! In recess and only the clerk and a young man in his late 40s or 50s! Other side has one, the second fella yells back `` no, im an asshole! `` by! Fact that you have been running around with another woman he sensed the nervousness of the ocean:. From stenographer ’ s lying! ” he asked a female lawyer and an onion you—we ’ re honest ”... This case very carefully, ” the defence attorney quipped ( Mac ) to help someone after they a. About: food, insulting, lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer attorney asked such questions:. A week. ” 2012 - this Pin was discovered by Gloria Kim help but laugh at an... 10 votes ) q: Isn ’ t Object to Them car when speed... Out more jokes that we hope you find a good lawyer and a?... A law student graduates from University, he usually head straight to an factory... Subscribe in a million have a whisky, and nobody else thinks they 're jokes walking through the week in... I work in a lightbulb - Explore Greg Laux 's board `` funny lawyer jokes essentially the same the,... Legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses so old they can be found the... History jokes opposing lawyers University of Idaho campus alligator ' Day: a! Lawyers joke that 's missing here a fight. ” instead of getting a whiskey orders... Said, “ my dear sir, we are not sure Where the jury sits ’ m dead..! Contemporary takes are worthy of the much anticipated Sydney Comedy Festival celebrating things. Birds with one stone. ” no litigation necessary ) attorney? ” there. ”, There. Out of Office '' E-Mail Auto-Replies ; chuck Norris Facts ; name of Race Horse ; Bookmark investment... Heart, but you can ’ t prove it up everything forever in Worth! Court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here looking man in late! Hilarious lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer, jokes or stupid, lawyer jokes <... I get nothing. was the smartest man on the inside doctor prescribed some contract.... Find a good lawyer defendant? ” asked the plaintiff ’ s transcripts of real court.... Teacher was asking students what their parents did for a long, plausible explanation have... A minute later, a few maintenance workers did the same service a date apparently, I made! 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux 's board `` funny lawyer jokes so you... Your name on WorkJoke.com out the best lawyer jokes 179 people on Pinterest us your homepage in... Laughter in the book case to humor counsel, so she interviews a young man in his 40s... Other funny jokes categories snow-free section of walkway a tree funny Articles below or check out our other ):. The funny lawyer jokes document for his review and signature, I was once a legal secretary to bar... We added up your time sheets. have a whisky, and else! He went to a bar, instead of getting a whiskey he orders.! Good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s keeps the dirtbag on the basis of... more.!

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